And my 82 year old father, who moved down here nearly two years ago and lives totally alone - no friends, no other family but me and my two brothers, is also dependent on me, and I just don't have anything left to give right now. I can only do what I can do.
Meanwhile, I'm battling the feeling that I'm underwater. Fighting to rise to the surface and catch my breath. It's hard to be creative - to write new synopsis's. I can't even motivate myself to exercise - and until this last crisis, I was losing a steady pound a week by counting calories and walking 10,000 steps a day. Not enough, I know, but something is better than nothing. I'm down 9 pounds since I got back from the cruise.
So I'm struggling with two synopsis's. They should have been done by now - it was a week ago tomorrow that I turned the book in. I feel lazy, unmotivated, and wish I could go on a shopping binge. But I can't.
Tomorrow is doctor and dentist, and then more struggling to finish these darn things. I have to like them, since I will have to write whatever book they outline. Sort of. Sometimes, I veer from the synopsis.
Anyway, back to it. Dog paddling.