Friday, September 27, 2013

Tonight I'm Gonna Cry.

Tonight I'm drinking.  Despite some early morning commitments, in full awareness that I will have a hangover and feel like crap, I'm drinking.  And tonight, I'm gonna cry.

My mom died today.  Despite knowing this was coming after her nearly two year battle with Pancreatic Cancer, it's not easy.  She's in a better place, she's pain free, I know.  But my mommy is gone.

I can't pick up the phone and call her.  No more Christmas dinners and talking about our favorite meals.  Yes, we had our differences.  All moms and daughters do.  But I still miss her.

My day today was spent running between funeral home and nursing home and my mom's house.  Making phone calls, answering phone calls, and dealing with everything.  I freaking wrote her obituary today, for Christ's sake.  And yes, Keith Urban's Tonight I Want To Cry is playing right now.

Luckily my own daughter took off work to be with me and help me.  She drove me and was there for me and I appreciate it more than she can know.  She kept me from breaking down.  She kept me from totally losing it.

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better.  Per the Keith Urban song.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

you deserve it lady ! hugs .

Linda McVeigh said...

Drink up, Karen (try to drink some water, too, to keep the hangover less severe)! You've been through a lot and done so much for others. It's time to take care of yourself now.

I can only imagine the heartache that you are feeling but please know that I am here if want to cry to someone. I will cry right along with you!!

Extra {{HUGS}} to you, my friend!!

Linda (BT)

Linda McVeigh said...

Drink up, Karen (try to drink some water, too, to keep the hangover less severe)! You've been through a lot and done so much for others. It's time to take care of yourself now.

I can only imagine the pain that you are feeling but please know that I am here if want to cry to someone. I will cry right along with you!!

Extra {{HUGS}} to you, my friend!!

Linda (BT)

Jerrie Alexander said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Karen.