Tonight I'm drinking. Despite some early morning commitments, in full awareness that I will have a hangover and feel like crap, I'm drinking. And tonight, I'm gonna cry.
My mom died today. Despite knowing this was coming after her nearly two year battle with Pancreatic Cancer, it's not easy. She's in a better place, she's pain free, I know. But my mommy is gone.
I can't pick up the phone and call her. No more Christmas dinners and talking about our favorite meals. Yes, we had our differences. All moms and daughters do. But I still miss her.
My day today was spent running between funeral home and nursing home and my mom's house. Making phone calls, answering phone calls, and dealing with everything. I freaking wrote her obituary today, for Christ's sake. And yes, Keith Urban's Tonight I Want To Cry is playing right now.
Luckily my own daughter took off work to be with me and help me. She drove me and was there for me and I appreciate it more than she can know. She kept me from breaking down. She kept me from totally losing it.
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better. Per the Keith Urban song.