I almost didn't post today. There's so much going on in my personal life that I just couldn't face writing words - any words. Then I realized that writing is my job and I have a book due July 1st and a proposal due June 20 and a novella due July 11th, and yet another proposal due July 15th (Holy crap!!) so of course I can't just shut down and curl up in a ball, even if I want to. And part of me does. However, writing is now my only source of income and if I don't produce, I don't get paid. Just like when I worked in insurance, I couldn't take the day off simply because I had family member issues, it's the same here.
Those thoughts led me to address something else - the life of a writer. People (Non-writers) think writing is all fairy dust and moonbeans, like we sit down and words simply flow from our fingers, la de da de da, and before we know it, there's a book. Done. Then we unwind our pink feather boa and trip down merrily to get more bon-bons before we start again.
News flash. It's not like that. Not even close.
Writing is work. Damn hard work. Often rewarding work, but it requires concentration and committment. There is plot, character arc, sexual tension, motivation, a thousand things we have to keep in mind when writing a book. And even when our stomach is tied up in knots, worrying about various family members, we still have to sit our ass in the chair and try to enter the world we created, and become those characters. Books don't write themselves.
I've been back to trying to do the fast draft and I managed one day of 14 pages and one of 15 - even though the Powers That Be at Harlequin have not yet approved this book. Of course, once I hit the desired page count/word count, it's not like I can sit back and go - yay, all done! Oh no. I have to edit, which involves deep immersion (note to self - buy those noise cancelling headphones) and often takes just as long as the writing does. Editing always involves cutting and more writing and just thinking about all these deadlines brings me close to a panic attack.
So that's my post for today. Now I have to get back to my paying job.