So I have been busy.
Now sometimes, it's difficult to write - personal life and family intrude, especially when I have a parent with a terminal illness. Watching my mother attempt to deal with this has made me think about my own life. Specifically, how I'd want to spend my final months if I was diagnosed with a terminal illness.
I'd have to say, there are places I want to see before I die. But more important than that, I'd want to see them with the people I love. My daughter and I have taken several trips together - most notably a ski trip and a trip to Washington DC, so I'd get with her and let her choose someplace that she really wanted to see (like Nashville). And then I'd take her, just her and me. Watching her experience this would bring me great joy and knowing I'd shared that with her and that she'd have that memory of me after I was gone would give me a lot of comfort.
My husband and I have a list of places we'd like to go. Places we want to see together. But once again, I think I'd let him choose the place he most wanted to see, even if it had been someplace I'd been before. Because I'd want the experience of watching him see this place and would love that he'd always have the memory of sharing it with me.
Because the people I love and their memories of me and them together are very important to me.
Other things that bring me joy are listening to great music live. I'd attend as many concerts as I could and failing that, I'd buy new music and listen to it until I had the words memorized (I do this already!) And reading a good book. I'd make more time for reading and less time for television, though there are a few shows I couldn't give up.
I'd write my life story so my daughter would have more insight of what my life was like. (Note to self - still must do this regardless.)
I'd do the volunteer work I've always wanted to do - at least until my health made me unable to do it. Rescuing dogs, helping them find loving homes.
I'd cook more - oh yes, I'd cook delicious fattening things that aren't good for you because at that point, what would it matter? I'd eat cheesecake for breakfast if I wanted. And lobster and hamburgers and cake. All the things I now have to eat in moderation to watch my weight.
What else brings me joy? I'd visit my friends, at least once. Those that live across the country in Georgia and New Jersey. I'd ask them to show me their town, their homes, their lives, and when I left I'd know they'd have that one final memory of me.
Of course, I would have to do these things before my health declined. And this is assuming that I got enough notice. So I'd have to prioritize, but I'd try to do as much as I could.
This is just me musing. None of us really knows what we'd do in this situation.
What would you do? Think about it. I'm curious. Even if you don't comment, what would be most important to you in the final days of your life?
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