Thursday, March 22, 2012 Music To Write By

Sometimes I like to write in silence, totally lost in my world with my people.  Other times, I make each book a soundtrack and obsessively play it every single time I sit down to write.  Other times, I play random songs on my ITunes, sorting by Genre or Artist.  Today, though I haven't seen the move yet (but will, I promise you!), I bought the Soundtrack to The Hunger Games.  Lots of new (to me) artists and exactly the kind of dramatic music I love to write to.  Sometimes.  It varies.

Anyway, I'm still holding to my 2000 word a day thing, but I still would like to increase that output so I have time to edit at the end before turning the book in.  I cannot WAIT to finish this book.  Cannot wait.

Then it's back to exercising and weight lifting and burning calories and toning muscle.  Though I miss having a personal trainer to direct me, I miss working out more than I would ever have thought possible.  Also, this summer I'm going to buy some googles and try swimming more in my pool.  Like Liz at one of my favorite blogs http://one-twenty-five.tumblr.com/

Anyway, I'm a bit behind this morning due to oversleeping my non-alarm and being groggy for some reason.  Gotta get with it and get to work.

Wednesday March 21, 2012

Yesterday was the first day of Spring.   To prove it, my flowers and flowering shrubs are blooming

And of course, the pollen is everywhere.  For those of us with allergies, this is torture. 

Then yesterday and the night before, the storms came.  We started with a clean slate. 

Spring has sprung.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Today is the first day of Spring!   We got storms last night and this morning and got over 4 inches of rain!  Yay!  I'm hoping some of it made it to our lake. 

I'm chugging away on the book that's due 4-1 and have written out what scenes I have left to write.  I got 2100 words yesterday, though I wanted 3k.  I try, but I am easily distracted.  Also, I haven't worked out all of last week and I'm feeling that loss.  The problem is, I can't go to the gym unless I do my words and it took me way too long to do them yesterday.  I'm hoping to speed up the process today.  Wish me luck.

My mom is still in the hospital, though they're saying she should be able to go home Thursday.  I've been doing some research on alternative treatments.  Why not?  She has nothing left to lose and a lot to gain (time) by trying them.

Ah well, I'd better finish up on the internet so I can get back to writing.  Thanks for sticking with me!

Monday, March 19, 2012

It's Monday and supposed to be stormy.  I love stormy.  Bring on the rain and the thunder and lightning.  Tornados, not so much. 

Friday I got up at 4am and left the house at 5:30.  My brother and I rode together and we reached the hospital by 6:30.  My other brother arrive a little after 7 am.  We got to visit with my mom and the doctor came in and, along with the two OR nurses, we all linked hands while he prayed.  He prayed for God to guide his hands in the surgery and also for God's will to be done. 

Then they took my mom off (around 8am) and we all went to the surgical waiting room.  It's a large room and at the time we were the only ones there.  I got out my laptop and started writing.  My two brothers went to the cafeteria to eat.  My mom's partner did crossword puzzles. 

Around 11:15 the doctor came out and said he could not remove the tumor.  It was inside the main artery that goes to the liver, which he knew and had planned to reconstruct using a vein from her leg.  But it had also invaded many other veins and he just couldn't get it all out.  There was also infection and blockage on her liver stint.  He cleaned that up and closed her back up.

My mom's partner collapsed in grief.  We all got shepherded to a smaller room and again the doctor talked to us - he said once she heals up we can try more chemo to hopefully prolong her life. 

I visited my mom again that night and also on Saturday and Sunday.  I decided against the hotel room idea due to two things - no decent hotels in the immediate area and the cost of the decent ones, which are in downtown Dallas near Reunion.  For those familiar with Dallas, the hospital is in Oak Cliff (Methodist Hospital).  I did tell my mom if I finished my word count early, I'd come up there. 

This time she will only have to stay in the hospital this week instead of two weeks, which she would if she'd had The Whipple Procedure.  She seems in fairly good spirits, considering.

Thank everyone who was so kind on Facebook.  I really appreciate the prayers and healing thoughts.

And now I have to go work.  This book won't write itself.

Thursday March 15, 2012

Yesterday, my best friend Anna Adams (http://www.annaadams.net/) saved my life.  Oh, not just because she came up with the admittedly brilliant idea of getting a hotel near the hospital, but because today I had a synopsis due for my next Harlequin Romantic Suspense book.  As of yesterday morning, I had the character's names and some of their backstory and that was it. 

Yesterday I wrote 3000 (give or take) words - an entire synopsis.  When I was a little more than halfway done, I emailed it to Anna to take a look and help brainstorm.  When she and I get together and brainstorm, we are damn near brilliant, I tell you!  She read it, sent it back with questions and corrections and then ensued a flurry of emails.  I wrote, rewrote, changed the hero's name and situation, and then late in the day I sent it to her.  I then powered off my computer and went to meet my brother and his wife for beer and food.  (that was fun too - but I drank too much beer and now have a nagging headache) 

This morning when I opened my email, she'd emailed the final version back to me (at 1:08 am or something!).  I went through it yet again, made corrections and changes, and emailed it off to my editor, who has already sent me a note letting me know she's received it.  Yay!

One more task tackled.  And honestly, I could not have done it without Anna's help.  So Anna, this is a BIG thank you.  Because you went way above and beyond.  I sure miss our brainstorming sessions at the local Starbucks!

Wednesday March 14, 2012

I spent yesterday visiting my mom.  We had lunch - her choice - and she chose coconut shrimp at Joe's Crab Shack.  She's lost weight and a lot of her hair (from the Chemo).  She wanted to talk about the past and the future - she'd visited a funeral home and cemetary and was still trying to decide whether she wants to be cremated or buried.  It was very sad and difficult.

Her potassium level is very low and the doctor has given her medicine to try and raise it.  She gets bloodwork done on Thursday and if the potassium level is up, she's scheduled for surgery on Friday.  Apparently, her surgeon wasn't very optimistic.  If the cancerous tumor is still wrapped around her blood vessels, he won't be able to do the Whipple surgery, which would give her a fighting chance.  He'll close her up and basically told her she has a few months to live. 

My mother is, of course, struggling with this.  She's 76, still relatively young in the grand scheme of things.  It was a shock to her - no one in our family has ever dealt with Pancreatic Cancer. 

I'm struggling with this too.  It's frightening to think about losing my mom.  Also, having a terminally ill parent sort of makes one face their own mortality.  I have a book due in two weeks, a synopsis (unwritten!) due tomorrow, and a mother who is very, very ill. 

Despite my earlier post, I'm not sure what I'll do.  I'm going to consider getting a hotel room near the hospital (thanks Anna Adams for the idea!) and writing and visiting her from closer - that is probably the best option.

Right now I'm depressed and struggling. 

Monday, March 12, 2011

I'm a writer.  Its my job and pretty much one of the absolute best jobs in the world.  What I find interesting is how many friends and family members think that because I'm self-employed and thus, don't have to report to an office and a boss, that I don't really have a JOB.  But I do.  I promise you I do. 

When I have a deadline fast approaching, I go into panic mode.  Working on weekends if I can, not taking phone calls and, I'm nearly at this phase now, occasionally hiding out somewhere away from all distractions.  Because I have 3 weeks to write almost 30,000 words.  Plus I have to do a synopsis for another book by Thursday. 

Yep, it's going to be crazy.  Add into the mix that my mom is having major surgery on Friday and it just got even crazier.  I tried to explain to her yesterday that I wouldn't be visiting every day like I did last time, in fact it'll just be on the weekends (you know, like my brother who has a day job), but I'm not sure she understood why.  In fact, she said something to the effect that I could work at the hospital because she sees people on their laptops all the time.

And yes, if I was just typing a report or even doing insurance quoting, maybe I could do this.  And yes, maybe if it wasn't an hour drive each way to the hospital, I could pop in every day when I'd finished my daily word count.  But write there?  What would be the point of visiting?  I'd have to put on headphones to drown out the other people, couldn't converse or actually visit, and I wouldn't get half as much done. 

So no, I'm going to have to suck it up and write at home.  And yes, I feel terrible about that, but I don't actually have a choice.  I've already asked for one extension.  I can't ask for another.

So.....  despite feeling incredibly guilty, I know if I were still working at the insurance agency, I wouldn't be able to take off work every day.  And if I don't turn in the book and the synopsis, I don't get paid and I actually need this income to live off of.  So I'll mostly be here, hunched over the keyboard. 

Off to write.  And I probably won't get to blog as much as I'd like, though we'll see.